an incident that took place at the crack of dawn earlier today triggered hell lots of bothering thoughts. being buried with work (not to mention sunlight-deprived!) in this cluttered cubicle of mine, the thoughts dont seem to be going away.

i love them.

i used to find them my heroes. not anymore, sadly. damn sad indeed. if you miss someone badly when they're not around, yet you just wanna scream and get away far as possible from this missed person as soon as you meet, it's called contradicting, right? which would then, make me Big Fat Ms Contrary. how do you manage with that kinda feelings? i've no fucking idea. i simply keep away, in self-denial perhaps. conscience says i shouldnt let it drag: do something. even micheal jackson too, said "if you wanna make a change in the world, start with the man in the mirror".. (something like that la huh..), which also means: do something.

so! tell me how does one go about this - him; the overprotective. (biased) love blinds him from all faults & flaws of the loved one. anythings goes, as long as the 'closeness' lasts. even through rotten pretence and unpleasant obligations. but what he gives, he expects the very leeway and leniency in return. her; the disciplinary. nothing impresses her. you could die trying, but you couldnt possibly ever be good enough for her. she vents frustration at any and every that doesnt go her way - which of course, is a lot of things.

and then there's me. simply the emotional idiot.

tough call, huh?

on a different note, i SO very very badly need a tub of Ben & Jerry's Turtle Soup tonight. i'm dead serious. thank God it's the 12th. woots!