[29th December 2007, 11.06am]

he left us in peace. to a much better place than this world, i pray.

i can still feel his presence in the house,
what with his slightly-tinted specs on the coffee table,
and his white tees and singlets hung up on the "coat hanger" thingy in his room,
and his bolster which he uses for the head and that lingering warm smell on it,
and the stained mugs, cos of his heavy caffeine addiction,
and family pictures all over, cos he used to be fond of the camera,
and his regular sofa seat, with the tv directly in front, and fan directly behind,
and his regular songkok and sejadah, his slippers, his towel, his comb, even his laughter...all so distinct.

needless to describe how humble a man he was, i miss him terribly. and so does the rest of the family. endless prayers go out to him, for his unexpected departure has opened our eyes in many ways, bringing us all to never take anything in this life for granted. especially life itself.

to all..
thank you for the well-wishes. in fact, thank you for just being around. i don't mean to be selfish, i don't mean to spoil your partying/celebration plans, i don't mean to be a a sourpuss, shooing in the new year like a spoilt whining and crying brat. i really don't mean to use this death as an excuse from carrying on with life as normal, but this has been much harder than i thought. please bear with me for now, and i would pick myself up in time, much stronger and tougher. i will stop tearing, and i will stop breaking down at the thought of him, just not now. give me time and i will be back.

to him,
Tok.. Nur sayang Atok, dan Nur doakan Tok dalam keadaan aman sekarang. Nur syukur Nur sempat cium tangan, dahi Atok sebelum Atok selamat dikebumikan. Kita semua redha dengan pemergian Atok, sebab kita yakin Tuhan lebih sayangkan Atok. Tak ada apa lagi, selain curahan doa yang dapat kita berikan Atok sekarang. Semoga Atok tenang, diterangkan kuburnya, dijauhkan siksaan api neraka, dan dicucuri rahmat dan berkat sentiasa. Insyallah...