you know when you like to do something as a hobby, or something that you simply enjoy doing just for the sake of passing time, and you dont really wanna go further into it and take it seriously as a profession because you're afraid it will turn to become not quite so enjoyable once reality starts sinking in, and you have no choice but to keep on doing it cos it's compulsory and not a hobby anymore..?
i think that exact fear realised itself today.
damn.